Title Tuesday: Adam and Eve After the Pill

Welcome to  Title Tuesday, my favorite day of the week! This day is dedicated to book suggestions, news, cartoons, and reviews. I write this portion of my blog because I am a big believer in the motivational speaker Charlie Jones' quote which says, "You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” I try to meet as many new people as possible and to read everything I can. This is my way of sharing that information with you. You can see a visual summary of the books I have reviewed for both adults and children over on my Facebook page. If you are interested in understanding my rating system for books you can read my Book Review Explanation here and What I Believe here. If you want to check out what I am currently reading or what I want to read next, friend me on Goodreads!

As my blog title suggests, I used to be a big proponent of Feminism. I was a card carrying member of NOW, supported Planned Parenthood, and ardently argued for "equality" between the genders. Adam and Eve After the Pill by Mary Eberstadt was one of the first books I read when I was trying to learn more about the roots of feminism and how it is impacting our society. This book was part of the groundwork for my decision to leave feminism and learn more about biblical womanhood, so I thought it would be good if I reread it and wrote a review of it.

Adam and Eve After the Pill is a fairly academic text written to explain the consequences of the sexual revolution. In this text Eberstadt asks the question of why so many women and men are unhappy if the sexual revolution was to our benefit. In her collections of data, opinions, and interviews Eberstadt makes the case that the revolution was in fact not a liberating wave freeing women from social bondage but rather a new kind of bondage tying women (and men) to an increasingly sexualized culture rampant with discontent. Eberstadt writes, 

This resolute refusal to recognize that the revolution falls heaviest on the youngest and most vulnerable shoulders- beginning with the fetus and proceeding up through children and adolescents- is perhaps the most vivid example of the denial surrounding the fallout of the sexual revolution (29).

Overall, I give Adam and Eve After the Pill a solid A+. I don't think that many Christians today are fully aware of what "the pill" has done to family and society in general. Understanding what is meant by the term "sexual revolution" and what the feminist movement has actually accomplished made it clear to me that Feminism was not for me. I think that this book is an excellent tool to help Christians determine if "the pill" is right for them and their family. I would strongly recommend this book to high school juniors and seniors getting ready to embark on adulthood. They need a full understanding of what "the pill" is and what it does, not just the party line given by mainstream media. 

News Update!

Hey guys!

I was interviewed for my local paper for Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
Check out the story here!

A New Creation

One of my mentors and I are going through Bible verse memorization program (you can find it here) and I have been thoroughly enjoying the process. At first I was treating it like a school subject. I planned out how to learn the verses, when I would study, and I really enjoyed checking off each verse as we went. 

I wasn't really hiding the verses away in my heart, I was checking boxes. It was just memorization.

Today, I got to feel the real power behind having God's word tucked away in my heart. 

I struggle with guilt. I allow this guilt to prevent me from reaching out to people, so instead I isolate myself. How could anyone possibly want to get to know someone with a past like mine? I feel guilt over past sins, past failures, and things that are not even mine to feel guilt over. 

I struggled with guilt greatly this week. I was invited to a women's retreat this weekend and despite the fact that some of my closest friends are going to be there, I did not want to attend. I didn't want to attend because of the conversations that might happen. 

What if they ask me questions about my past? 

What if they want to talk about real stuff? 

They won't want anything to do with someone like me. 

As I was going through my contacts to call and say that I wasn't going, God brought something to my mind. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, ^"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new is here!" There it is, written in the Word of God. I am a child of Christ. Sins of the past have been forgiven. I have been made new, the old me is gone. 

I am going to the retreat this weekend, and I am going as a new creation in Jesus Christ.  

God is My Confidence

I have been a sleepwalker as long as I can remember. 

It happens with the onset of stress. It is as though my unconscious self is trying to get things done that I wasn't able to accomplish during the day. I have done all kinds of goofy things. (Everything from putting all the pots and pans in the washing machine flooding my apartment, to taking all the books off of my shelves and stacking them up in front of my door making me late for school the next day.) The interesting part is that I haven't had a sleepwalking incident in almost a full year. 

For the first time in a very long time, everything is ok. 

Not just ok. 

Everything is... dare I say it? 

Good.

I am in a good place in my life. Saying that out loud scares me a great deal. In the past I would never have been able to say that out loud. There were times that were better than others but for the most part I spent most of my childhood and adolescence waiting for the bottom to fall out. It wasn't as if this behavior was out of line. In my world the bottom almost always did fall out. 

Before I turned 18 my family

...lost a house to a tornado, 

...moved ALOT, 

...lost most of our belongings in a flood,

...went through four divorces, 

...lost a house to a fire, 

...and we discovered my beautiful little sister had tumors growing in her face.

This stuff is only what showed on the outside, there are a lot of deeper scars that still burn a bit underneath. 

Sleepwalking was a serious problem throughout my childhood and adolescence. So,what has been different? There is still stress, in some cases more stress than before. So why has the sleepwalking stopped? I think that the biggest change happened when I decided to fully hand over my life to Christ. Although Accepted Christ as my savior before this, I did not place my trust fully in Him.Instead I still tried to hold on to control. When I decided to make Christ apart of my everyday life, I was given a gift of peace that I cannot explain.

Proverbs 3: 23-26 says, “Then you will walk safely in your way, And your foot will not stumble. When you lie down,you will not be afraid; Yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet. Do not be afraid of sudden terror, Nor of trouble from the wicked when it comes; For the Lord will be your confidence, And will keep your foot from being caught.

How awesome is that?

I know that there will be hard times. I know that things will not go my way. But in Christ I don’t have to fear the future, I don’t have to fear the unknown. God is my confidence; I can walk sure into the future. 

Dear Sixteen-Year-Old-Me,

We both know you are tired and we both know you won't admit it. 

You are working a job that you are much too young to have. 

Keep your head down and stay out of trouble. 

You can't see it yet, but God is at work even in these dark times.

You don't trust anyone and you try to keep everyone at arms length. 

Everyone is your enemy.

One day a person is going to come into your world and change your entire life. 

Soften your heart. 

Be ready.

You are ashamed and embarrassed by your family situation. 

 Your situation is bad now, but God will use it for great things later.

Your family is more than just biological relatives.

Don't be ashamed.

You won't go to church because you are afraid they will judge you for your past. 

You will be welcomed with open arms.

You spend your days building walls and planning for the day when you can rub your success in the face of all the people who told you that you weren't good enough.

Carrying that anger and hate around is not good for you. 

God has big things coming your way.

 You have to start living for Him, and not for retribution.

Stop it. 

You are holding on by your fingertips balancing high school, two jobs, a sick sibling, and a come-and-go parent. You are so stressed out that you sleepwalk and fight night terrors.

Christ's loving arms will protect you, He will provide for your every need. 

Through Christ you will finally find peace. 

You are a daughter of the King, though you don't know it yet.

Things look rough now.

Push through. 

Take a breath. 

Keep going. 

God is at work

Love,

Twenty-Four-Year-Old-Me

The Un-Baby Shower

Yesterday evening started out like any other evening. I ran downstairs to check the mail and found an assortment of  cards and invitations. This is nothing new. I am in my mid 20s. Every other weekend is spent juggling wedding and/or baby showers. 

I opened two of the pretty envelopes and sure enough, one wedding shower and one baby shower. Then came the third envelope. I pulled out the invitation and at first glance it looked like a second baby shower invitation. Then I got to really looking at the invitation. 

I had been cordially invited to an UN-BABY shower. 

A friend of mine from college is having a tubal ligation performed and is having a party beforehand. The inside reads: "join us for a celebration for sterilization". 

I was shocked.

This young woman is permanently sterilizing herself, at 25 years old. Not only is she making this choice, but she is asking us (her friends) to celebrate. 

In the radical feminist circles that I was involved with in college everyone talked about not having children. But this young woman is the first of us to make this choice permanent. Every single woman in our circle said that she was going to "break the glass ceiling" and not give in to the urging of society to settle down and have a family. 

I said it myself.  

I called her to RSVP. When I informed her that I wouldn't be attending she asked why. I told her that I could not celebrate her choice. We discussed her choice for some time. She told me that she loves her life, she wants to be able to live her life without the fear of producing a child that she does not want. She is going to be childless by choice.

She doesn't expect someone like me, who is on the "mommy-track", to understand. I have become too "brainwashed" to remember what real goals look like. 

Let me tell you, that one stung a little. 

I will be keeping her in my thoughts and prayers as the day approaches. 

Modesty Part 1

"Nothing can atone for the lack of modesty; without which beauty is ungraceful and wit detestable." I love this quote by Richard Steele so much.  I had a bit of a revelation this weekend, so I thought I would share my thoughts on the subject of modesty. I know that every Christian women's blog focuses on modesty at least once, and I know a great many people tire of hearing about this subject but after this weekend I finally understand why it is such a big deal. I have a very dear friend who spoke honestly with me this weekend about modesty and the role it plays in lust. Through this conversation I came to understand why modesty is important. 

Let me begin this by saying openly that I don't have the greatest track record with modesty. Prior to accepting Christ as my savior, I had no true understanding of modesty. I knew that there were times not to wear short skirts, and that is about it. I had more than my fair share of cleavage bearing shirts. I also served tables at a restaurant that openly encouraged as little clothing as possible while still complying to the safety regulations. I made money off of being immodest. I say this so that you understand that this is not a judgmental post, this is one Christian woman wanting to warn other Christian women about the pitfalls that we can create for ourselves and others with our clothing.

So, why be modest?

1 Corinthians 6: 19-20 says, " Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies." Christ paid the ultimate price for our salvation. He has redeemed us from our sinful nature and he is our bridge to God over sin. I have a great team member who described it as we are God's ambassadors for non-belivers. We have the privalege and responsibility of sharing the word of God. How best to demonstrate the honor and amazing grace that we have been given that to honor and respect the body Christ died for? I had no understanding of the value of my body prior to accepting Christ as my savior. I look back and I regret many of my choices. I have thrown away a great many pictures because I now understand the price Christ payed for me. I am not ashamed of my past, I did what I to do to make ends meet. But I am humbled by Christ's forgiveness of my lack of respect for my own body. If I could go back, and do it again... I would. 

Proverbs 11:22 says, "Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion. I was a gold ring in a pig's snout. Not only didn't I show modesty and discretion in my clothing but my language and my actions as well. I was a bartender and waitress at a grill and bar where we were encouraged to "flirt" with the customers.  I would carefully apply my makeup and straighten my hair before each shift, and practice my smile and the nicest way to say "Im not interested" to a customer and still get tips.  But, innuendo and "witty" banter were my strong-suit. I have a sharp tongue and a quick mind, the two can be deadly. Once I accepted Christ I had to active curb my tongue and watch the things that I say. It was very difficult to get control of this particular vice, and it is a daily struggle. 

Matthew 5:28 says, "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." This is often something that is said to men but ladies, I think we need to be held accountable for our part in this area too. What are we doing that causes men to lust? Am I dressing in a way that is going to cause a brother in Christ to stumble?  This is a brand new thought for me, but it has made me reevaluate my entire wardrobe. I have always thought of modesty as a means of controlling women (feminists love to throw that subject around). But, after speaking with this friend, his parents and some of my team members I believe that modesty is crucial for all women so that we can help our brothers in Christ. Please hear me, I am not saying that women cause men to sin. Everyone makes their own choice when it comes to sin. What I am saying is what can we do to alleviate some of the temptation in a world where sex is literally a click away? 

I feel very strongly about the issue of modesty. Feminism taught me that my body is nothing to be ashamed of. Not only that, it is something to be celebrated. Don't hide it away, men only tell you to do that to keep women in their place. In part they were right. Our bodies are incredible and should be celebrated... in the bond of holy matrimony with one husband, period. The rest of it feminism had wrong. Modesty is something that we can control. It is something that sets Christians apart from a world in which sex permeates everyday life. it is something that we can do to help our brothers in Christ to be the men of God they strive to become. It is also something that we do to demonstrate our understanding of the magnitude of the Christ's sacrifice for our souls. 

This post is already really long and I have a great number of thoughts on this particular subject so I think I will dedicate the next one (maybe two!) posts to the subject of modesty as God places it on my heart.