C-Section Saturday: Take Care of Your Body

Welcome to C-Section Saturdays! I am using Saturdays to discuss, teach, and learn about C-Section recovery. Be prepared, some of the information that we discuss will be graphic, but I assure you that I will do my best to cover each topic with the grace of the true southern lady that I am. With that being said lets jump in! 

Today I want to talk about expectations and reality. Things tend to go one of two ways with postpartum expectations. They usually end up being something like this:

"oh my gosh, my body is going to bounce right back and it is going to be wonderful" 

or 

"I hate everything I am going to fall face first in a box of doughnuts since I'm eating for two now anyways."  

And neither of these are good. 

The reality is, your body won't bounce right back. It takes time to heal from the trauma of pregnancy, let alone birth or worse, a C-Section. Your body will not look the way it did originally, no matter what magazines, advertisements, and fitness gurus tell you. You pushed a human being (or had one pulled) out of you. That changes a body. 

The other option of "I'm nursing so now I can finally eat for two" is not right either. You have to take care of your body. This is not the time to give up on yourself. Take the extra step, make the extra effort to eat real and healthy food. Get up and move your body when the doctor clears you to do so. You can't take care of a precious newborn baby with zero energy. 

In reality your body will be different, and you need to be ready for that. 

In fact, I remember thinking that I was marred for life when I first saw my incision. I cried alone in the bathroom at the hospital, just nine hours after my first son was born. 

If you want to see what a C-section body looks like you can see those images here. 

Be prepared, it isn't always pretty at first. If you don't like where your body is after your C-Section, get up, and change it. 

Put one foot in front of the other. 

Don't quit, don't stop. 

You can do this. 

Psalm 139;19 says that "God knit me together in my mother's womb". 

Isn't it amazing to be a part of the miracle of birth? Isn't it amazing what God made our bodies to do? Your body will look different. Your body will feel different. But your body is incredible and don't you let anyone tell you otherwise.

(As a side note, this has NOTHING to do with your size. I don't care what the label on your dress says. There are plenty of unhealthy size zeros walking around out there. Be a good steward of your body and help it to be healthy, not just thin.)

C-Section Saturday: Introduction

Welcome to the very first C-Section Saturdays! 

We will be using Saturdays to discuss, teach, and learn about C-Sections. 

I had four C-sections in five years, and there is SO much that I didn't know. If talking about C-Sections can help spare someone from the difficulties that I had it will be worth it!

Each week may cover:

-information about the science of C-sections

-tips for healing

-must have items

-nutrition

-My recovery process, plan, and results

-anything else that I feel like because it is my writing space! 

If C-Sections freak you out, just skip my posts on Saturdays. 

I will get back to writing my normal book reviews and articles as well.

 

What Does a Mom Do?

When I ask what a mom does, I don't mean all the tangible things like laundry, dishes, baseball practice, and mopping the floor. While those are all important, I am talking about something infinitely more important. 

What I mean is, what are the things that a mother does that bring extra life to her family? 

There is an old Jewish Proverbs which says, "A mother understands what a child does not say".

I don't care what kind of mother you are, what your parenting philosophy is, or how you became a mother. Once you are a mom you have the ability (if you put down your phone and turn off the TV) to listen to the deepest longings of your children's hearts.

In my home you can periodically hear any one of my kids asking for "mommy magic". 

I wish I could give you a clear definition of what that is, but I really can't because it changes every single day based upon the needs of my family. 

Here are a few things mommy magic has been in our home:

• painting snow with real paint
• putting Christmas lights in their bedroom
• playing shaving cream with food coloring
• playing their favorite song loudly in the car with windows rolled down
• having a candlelit dinner... just because
• playing in mud and getting absolutely filthy
• picking up pretty rocks on a walk and displaying them proudly around the house
• jumping in rain puddles for the purpose of getting soaked
• baking cookies together at seven in the morning and then having cookies and milk for breakfast   
• a vase full of beautiful flowers that you picked together on a walk. 

As moms we have the incredible opportunity to learn and understand our children in a way that almost no one else ever will. It a HUGE responsibility but it is also an incredible gift! 

Moms make magic so that we can answer the tiny unheard (and often unspoken) needs of our children. 

Sometimes the worst behavior (especially in small children) is caused because they feel left out and unseen. Ephesians 6:4 tells us, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” This verse makes me think about how our heavenly Father ALWAYS meets us where we are with love and compassion. 

For young children (and older children often!) love is letting them be children, allowing them to be silly, loud, and messy. God never fails to grant us mercy after a hissy fit or grace despite our shortcomings. 

He grants us rainbows after storms and His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:23). 

Lets do the same for our children. 

Title Tuesday: More for Mom

Welcome to  Title Tuesday, my favorite day of the week! This day is dedicated to book suggestions, news, cartoons, and reviews. I write this portion of my blog because I am a big believer in the motivational speaker Charlie Jones' quote which says, "You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” I try to meet as many new people as possible and to read everything I can. This is my way of sharing that information with you. You can see a visual summary of the books I have reviewed for both adults and children over on my Facebook page. If you are interested in understanding my rating system for books you can read my Book Review Explanation here and What I Believe here. If you want to check out what I am currently reading or what I want to read next, friend me on Goodreads!

As we approach Mother's Day (it is just four weeks away y'all) it is pretty normal for people to rush out and purchase books for moms. I was recently given the opportunity to review More for Mom: Living Your Whole and Holy Life by Kristin Funston and I was thrilled to get a chance to find a new book that could inspire and encourage women raising children. Today I am going to share my thoughts with you.

I have to admit that I am not in love with this book and in fact I had a really had time finishing it.

The first two sections of the book read about like every other Christian book for mothers. God gave you these kids, He will give you rest. Even the moms that seem like they have it all together really don't. You don't need to do more, you need to take care of yourself... and the like.

It is all pretty familiar.

To be completely honest, the book started going downhill for me when I read in the introduction where Funston says that "We're moms after all. We basically run the world". Sorry, nope. Sure, motherhood is busy and difficult (I have three children under 4 years old, I get it!) but the phrase "we run the world" is a feminist mantra that you can hear from the likes of Beyonce and AOC. It is also SUPER disrespectful of the dads involved in the world. I'm not about to let that idea that we moms "run the world" weave its way into my narrative. Words and phrases mean things and we need to be cautious of what it is that we are intentionally or unintentionally endorsing with this catchy little phrases.

The thing that solidified my poor opinion of this book was in the middle. I so desperately wanted to revel in the chapter called "Come Alive". That portion of the book alone is almost enough to have me give the book an A review. The thing that held me back from loving it is Funston talked more about coming alive meaning you can go on vacation once or twice a year and retire comfortably (Funston 121). I am constantly saying that it isn't enough to just survive, but that is because I believe that everything that we have should go towards telling people about God's love and training them to tell others. Our salvation wasn't paid for so that we could retire comfortably.

Overall, I would say this book is a mediocre B. It isn't dangerous to theology or to morals so it doesn't warrant a C rating. But it is familiar and somewhat lackluster. This book won't inspire change, but rather it read like a bunch of mini motivational blog posts put in one book. The portions of it that are off putting to me wouldn't be off putting to most people. I am hyper focused on living for Jesus, not just quoting scripture. I wouldn't rush out and purchase this book for Mother's Day.

Motherhood Monday: What If We Were Different?

Welcome to another Motherhood Monday! Motherhood is an incredible blessing. But it is also a huge challenge. Anyone that has experienced motherhood will tell you, there is an incredible shift in your very being when you become a mother. This is the day dedicated to all things "mommy" related. Check here each Monday for a new post. 

Today I want to talk about how to get things done when you have one or more young child at home. I often see pictures like this on Facebook and Pinterest... 

...and to be completely honest it makes me really sad. Modern motherhood is touted on social media as being this horrifically laborious task that is just always smacking us around with never ending problems.

Also, can I just say that I think when all of us sit around griping about how difficult motherhood is we are complaining about an incredible gift that we have been given (Psalm 127:3). I think we (as a society) have started this idea that complaining about how hard "life" can be is an acceptable thing because... honesty. It becomes this sort of race to the bottom of "my problems are harder than yours".  I would challenge Christian mothers to stop this. Instead of complaining about how hard life is under the guise of "honesty", lets be honest about what we can do differently to make it better. 

What I am talking about is the "Beckys" of the world that complain about being rushed in the morning but won't plan ahead at night. (Who right this instant are about to say that it is hard to plan at night... while they watch another episode of the Office that they have seen 102,291 times.) I am talking about the people complaining about their child's screen time when all they have to do is turn off the router. We are allowing ourselves to be distracted and unfocused, and it is making us feel pretty awful and I bet our families aren't feeling too hot either. 

Can I share a secret with you? It doesn't have to be that hard! 

Now, before I go any further, I need to be really clear here. 

I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION OR MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS. If you are experiencing postpartum depression or a mental health decline/crisis that is a whole different ball game. It is real, you are not crazy, and you need to seek medical help. 

Kids don't have to tear apart your house, in fact I would challenge that in almost all cases (baring physical/mental disability) children can in fact help you in your home!

This is the part where some would say, "what makes you an expert?!"

Well, let me tell you. 

I have three children under the age of four. My husband is active duty military and is often gone from our home leaving me to solo parent a 4 year old boy, an almost 3 year old boy, and a 1 year old girl. It would be incredibly easy for me to say, "This is hard!" and pop on a TV show. But God didn't call me to watch television. God called me to raise my children well, and I am trying my hardest to do exactly that. So my children take out the trash, feed the dog, help load and unload the dishwasher, sort and put away laundry, clean plates, and are generally helpful children. This is not because I am a perfect parent, but it is because I spend my time teaching my children to be productive members of society... not little tornadoes to be catered to.

With the picture at the top of the post? Put your kids at the kitchen table with books, play-dough, or coloring while you do the dishes. For my family? I have trained my children that as soon as a meal is over (and they are excused from the table) they take their dishes to the sink and then they get a book and sit in the living room until I am finished with the dishes. All three of my children are trained to do this, even the 12 month old. 

IT CAN BE DONE. 

Motherhood doesn't need to be this horrible, draining, thing to be mocked on social media. In a lot of ways, we are creating these problems and then lamenting the outcomes. 

Instead, what if we faced the challenge head on? 

What if instead of allowing our children to make life more difficult, what if we taught our children how to be productive members of the family? What if, instead of racing to the bottom in our conversations about our families, if we looked up to the Son and modeled what HE says family should be? What if we didn't let our families look like families of the world? What if we were different? 

Title Tuesday: Grit & Grace

Welcome to  Title Tuesday, my favorite day of the week! This day is dedicated to book suggestions, news, cartoons, and reviews. I write this portion of my blog because I am a big believer in the motivational speaker Charlie Jones' quote which says, "You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” I try to meet as many new people as possible and to read everything I can. This is my way of sharing that information with you. You can see a visual summary of the books I have reviewed for both adults and children over on my Facebook page. If you are interested in understanding my rating system for books you can read my Book Review Explanation here and What I Believe here. If you want to check out what I am currently reading or what I want to read next, friend me on Goodreads!

I don't often enjoy devotionals about motherhood because most of them are just flowers, polka dots, and pithy little sayings. But when I got the opportunity to read through Grit & Grace written by authors Suzanne Hadley Gosselin and Gretta Kennedy, I jumped at the chance.

Finally a devotional for moms that isn't flowery or pandering. It is honest and real!

Motherhood can be daunting sometimes can't it? Let me tell you, as a mother to a 4 year old, a 2.5 year old, and 10 month old... motherhood can be downright overwhelming.

It was wonderful to read a book that was honest about real life issues. It isn't just "oh my kids are such a blessing" while the mother cries over why her kids are so challenging.

I LOVED when Suzanne wrote about her son's seizure disorder. The faith and just, well, grit, that she showed is so inspiring! It was wonderful to hear someone tell the truth about the fact that sometimes parenting is terrifying and you wonder what in the world God is up to.

Gretta's chapter Redwoods and the Epic Stomach Flu, was hilariously relate-able! In fact, I had the exact same experience with the stomach flu just three weeks ago with my kids!
Overall, I give Grit & Grace by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin and Gretta Kennedy a solid A+. I would strongly recommend that anyone in the thick of the motherhood fight read this book. It would be a great thing to read out loud each week at a playgroup or mommy meetup! I plan on reading it with my Bible reading each day to help me remember that God gives us plenty of both grit and grace.

I received a free copy of Grit & Grace from Audra Jennings PR

Motherhood Monday: Teething Necklaces

Welcome to another Motherhood Monday! Motherhood is an incredible blessing. But it is also a huge challenge. Anyone that has experienced motherhood will tell you, there is an incredible shift in your very being when you become a mother. This is the day dedicated to all things "mommy" related. Check here each Monday for a new post. 

Anybody else out there have a teething baby? My little girl is miserable with her first tooth coming in. She has had a much harder time of it than either of my boys had. I recently found that teething necklaces (that I wear, not her) really help her to be more content. 

So, today I want to share with you about these teething necklaces that I found. 


I like them because 
they help my baby to feel better
they are inexpensive
they are pretty

Here is my amazon affiliate link for the necklace I am wearing in this picture. 

I like the bright colors. It works with just about any shirt. I have run this necklace through the dishwasher to clean it several times and the colors haven't faded at all! 

My daughter absolutely loves the different textures of the silicone beads. It has a snap enclosure that is super helpful for being able to get off easily if you are sitting in church or somewhere where the baby would like to play with the necklace quietly. It also has a smooth string which I like because the necklaces with silicone beads all the way along the string get caught in my hair and I HATE trying to get it untangled from my curls. This smooth cord necklace with the beads just at the bottom seem to work best for me. 

I have used these necklaces as well, they are available on amazon as well, here are links to the ones that I have enjoyed wearing:
Nursing Necklace in Lavender

Nursing Necklace in Rose Quartz

Nursing Necklace in Mint

Nursing Necklace in Mermaid

If you have a teething baby at home these necklaces can help your little one to be able to sit still in your lap through performances, church, meetings, and even while you are doing homeschool with older children.

Check them out and let me know what you think!

Title Tuesday: Too Blessed to be Stressed

Welcome to  Title Tuesday, my favorite day of the week! This day is dedicated to book suggestions, news, cartoons, and reviews. I write this portion of my blog because I am a big believer in the motivational speaker Charlie Jones' quote which says, "You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” I try to meet as many new people as possible and to read everything I can. This is my way of sharing that information with you. You can see a visual summary of the books I have reviewed for both adults and children over on my Facebook page. If you are interested in understanding my rating system for books you can read my Book Review Explanation here and What I Believe here. If you want to check out what I am currently reading or what I want to read next, friend me on Goodreads!

Good morning! 
As many of you know I am in very busy stage of life. 

My husband is in the military and we have 3 children 3 and under. While I am incredibly grateful for my family life can get a bit crazy if I don't keep a tight hold on things. 

So when I got an opportunity to review Debora M. Coty's book "Too Blessed to Be Stressed for Moms" I jumped at the chance. At first I was put off y the flowery cover (if you have been reading my Title Tuesday posts for any length of time you know that I wish women's books weren't so...girly) but let me tell you, Mrs. Coty does not disappoint! 

What I loved:

• Her stories are truly hilarious. 
• She has 3-5 questions at the end of each chapter that could easily be used in a group setting
• Each chapter starts with a scripture that directly correlates to the chapter (no fluff!)
• Her entire chapter titled "Patience Should be a Verb". (Seriously go read it!) 

What I didn't like:
The book is stylized, meaning text in the actual book is brown (to match the cover decor) rather than black. I know that may not seem like a big deal to most people but if you are a mom that struggles with reading and you are already fried that could really be off putting. 

Overall, I give "Too Blessed to Be Stressed for Moms" by Debora M. Coty a solid B+.  This book would make a fabulous baby shower gift, Mother's Day gift for a mom with several littles, or potential book for conversation in women's groups.  

Title Tuesday: How Does a Busy Mom Make Time To Read?

Welcome to  Title Tuesday, my favorite day of the week! This day is dedicated to book suggestions, news, cartoons, and reviews. I write this portion of my blog because I am a big believer in the motivational speaker Charlie Jones' quote which says, "You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” I try to meet as many new people as possible and to read everything I can. This is my way of sharing that information with you. You can see a visual summary of the books I have reviewed for both adults and children over on my Facebook page. If you are interested in understanding my rating system for books you can read my Book Review Explanation here and What I Believe here. If you want to check out what I am currently reading or what I want to read next, friend me on Goodreads!

On today’s Title Tuesday we are pulling an article from the archives about the #1 question I get on my blog... 

"How does a busy mom make time to read?" 

Check out my tips and tricks below!

http://forgivenformerfeminist.blogspot.com/2017/07/How-does-a-busy-mom-make-time-to-read.html?m=1

Title Tuesday: The Child Safeguarding Policy Guide

Welcome to  Title Tuesday, my favorite day of the week! This day is dedicated to book suggestions and reviews. I write this portion of my blog because I am a big believer in the motivational speaker Charlie Jones' quote which says, "You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” I try to meet as many new people as possible and to read everything I can. This is my way of sharing that information with you. If you are interested in understanding my rating system for books you can read my Book Review Explanation here and What I Believe here. If you want to check out what I am currently reading or what I want to read next, friend me on Goodreads. With all that being said, lets jump in!

This book was provided by Litfuse Group
in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. 

Today's book is a little more somber than our normal Title Tuesday posts but no less interesting and maybe even more important. The Child Safeguarding Policy Guide for Churches and Ministries by Basyle Tchividjian and Shira M. Berkovits may not sound like an invigorating read, but if you are involved in ministry in ANY WAY AT ALL then I suggest that you take a look at this book. 

Tchividjian and Berkovits are frank and honest in their discussion of the dangers surrounding the Christian community. They don't pull any punches in the understanding of who can become a victim (both girls AND boys of any age!) and who can become a predator. They break the book down into sections describing what abuse may (or may not) look like. They clearly and decisively explain how to best safeguard children and staff members from potential issues. Tchividjian and Berkovits also do a really good job of  explaining how to respond to an issue involving a child and how to support survivors of abuse both inside and outside the church. 

Overall I would give The Child Safeguarding Policy Guide for Churches and Ministries by Basyle Tchividjian and Shira M. Berkovits a solid B+ rating. It is a great book that all ministries should have on their shelves. The regular, everyday Christian might not find it useful in daily life. However, as a mother of two young boys and another little baby on the way, I probably don't have to state the fact that safety is a high priority for our family. Being a military family means moving often. When we move to a new duty station we have to start all over in finding a church, a babysitter, and friends that we are comfortable having our children be around on a regular basis. I have to say that protecting my children is often at the forefront of my mind especially when we are at a new duty station trying to find a new church. I know that for myself (as well as many other military families) it would ease my mind a great deal to know that these churches had a plan in place to prevent abuse issues from happening and a procedure for what to do in the absolutely horrific instance that it does happen. I would feel much more comfortable at a church that used The Child Safeguarding Policy Guide for Churches and Ministries by Basyle Tchividjian and Shira M. Berkovits as a guide post for their ministries.  

Motherhood Monday: How Does a Busy Mom Make Time to Read?

Welcome to another Motherhood Monday! Motherhood is an incredible blessing. But it is also a huge challenge. Anyone that has experienced motherhood will tell you, there is an incredible shift in your very being when you become a mother. This is the day dedicated to all things "mommy" related. Check here each Monday for a new post. 

I know that it is Monday and not Title Tuesday, but today we are kind of going to combine both of these days. I want to tackle the number one question that I get here on the blog which is:

"How you read so much with two small children, a ministry, a husband in the military, and homemaking? How does a mom do so much reading?"

And that is an excellent question! 

On Goodreads you can see that I am trying to read one book per week for all of 2017. So far, I am on track for this year! If I can complete it, next year I will try to read 6 books per month... 

That is a big goal if you don't have kids, let alone if you have tiny humans running around. You have to get creative and the best way (in my opinion) is to have books everywhere that you can so that you can reach them easily.  

I am a big believer in audio books. There are a lot of different options on how to use them. If your library uses OverDrive or Hoopla, then I would go that route. Both of those are free and fairly easy to use. Check with your local library to see if they use it.  

If the library isn't an option, Audible is very good. You sign up for a subscription which is about $15.00 per month which gives you one book of your choice each month. However, tomorrow is PRIME DAY for Amazon which means that Audible subscriptions will be 40% off for six months! You can click here to find out more. I listen to these audio books while I cook, drive, clean, and work out. I really like being able to do this with lighter books, and then I save my heavy reading for actual in-your-hand text.

As far as in-your-hand texts, I am just now really breaking in to the word of digital reading. I know I am behind the times, but I LOVE paper books so much it took a lot to convince me to consider supplementing my library with Ebooks. I have an Amazon Fire (You can find one here) that my sister gave me for Christmas and I really like it for reading! I read that on PRIME DAY they will be offering $35.00 off of any upgrade to your Kindle. I haven't tried Kindle Unlimited yet, but people rave about it, and with the 40% off for PRIME DAY, I am considering it! 

I keep a book:
in my purse
in the car
in my diaper bag
at my desk
by my bed
by my chair in the livingroom (this is actually my Kindle...)

Yes, each of the books is different. I tackle each one as I am able to. For example. I currently have The Housewife Theologian by my bedside. It has been there about 3 months, but Reformation Women (which will be on the blog tomorrow!) was in my diaper bag for about two days before I finished it. Both books are good, but I finished them at different paces because of how often I reach for them during the day. 

As I say on my  Title Tuesday, posts, I am a big believer in the motivational speaker Charlie Jones' quote which says, "You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” I try to meet as many new people as possible and to read everything I can. I then like to share it with as many people as I can. If you are interested in understanding my rating system for books you can read my Book Review Explanation here and What I Believe here. If you want to check out what I am currently reading or what I want to read next, friend me on Goodreads!

What about you? How do you find time to read books?