One Year Later: 10 Positive Things About Staying Home

One year ago today our family started social distancing and staying home. 

We made the call early, before it was required, because I was expecting Emily and nobody knew if or how Covid could impact a developing baby. It was hard. In fact due to this choice we lost some of the few Pennsylvania friends we had made since our move. 

We have now spent 365 days in which we have zero social interactions except with our closed circle of people (that included my mom, our next door neighbor family, and a single soldier). 

No movies, no museums, no parties, no in-person-church, no in-person-grocery shopping, no play-dates, and no trips out of state to see family.

And it was absolutely worth it. 

I know that the pandemic has been hard and awful. But I don't want to write off an entire year of my life as bad. So I am writing out 10 positive things that happened for our family while we made the choice to social distance so that in years to come I can look back and remember all the positive things that came from spending a year at home together.

1. We slowed life WAY down by cutting out all the unnecessary stuff that we have allowed to fill our calendars in the past.
2. We read a TON of books together as a family.
3. We taught the kids about boundaries.
4. We did a great job of maintaining those boundaries even when it wasn't easy or fun.
5. We hiked a minimum of 2 miles almost every single weekend... with three and then four small children! 
6. We talked about loving like Jesus by doing the hard things to protect others (like their great grandmother) from illness.
7. We did a lot of science experiments with the kids and got to see how they think and solve problems. I can say that 100% would not have been able to squeeze that in prior to the shut downs.
8. We read a TON of books together as a family, discussed them, and inspired the kids to write their own. 
9. We talked a LOT about rules and authority with the kids when it came to government imposed limits and masks. 
10. We spent a lot of time in prayer together as a family. We prayed for friends, family, leaders, scientists, and medial staff. 

I notice that all of those sentences started with "we". Our family spent the last 365 days together. So yes, the pandemic is incredibly hard. 

Having a baby during a global pandemic was one of the most challenging things I have ever faced. Wearing a mask during a C-Section was awful y'all! The uncertainty during the postpartum phase was REALLY HARD.

Being stuck at home was sometimes boring... but we did it. 

I am proud that we made the choice to stay at home and to wear a mask when we go outdoors.  

We will continue to make those choices until vaccines are readily available and the community at large can be safe. 

We will do that because we want to be like Jesus.

Title Tuesday: Shanghai Girls & Dreams of Joy

Welcome to  Title Tuesday, my favorite day of the week! This day is dedicated to book suggestions, news, cartoons, and reviews. I write this portion of my blog because I am a big believer in the motivational speaker Charlie Jones' quote which says, "You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” I try to meet as many new people as possible and to read everything I can. This is my way of sharing that information with you. You can see a visual summary of the books I have reviewed for both adults and children over on my Facebook page. If you are interested in understanding my rating system for books you can read my Book Review Explanation here and What I Believe here. If you want to check out what I am currently reading or what I want to read next, friend me on Goodreads!

Good morning! 

Today I am going to  cover two books in one review. Now why would I do that? These two books are intricately interwoven and you cannot get the full story without reading both books. Both books are written by the fabulously descriptive, Lisa See. I read Shanghai Girls and I was fully ready to give it a bad review for how it ended because I was unaware there was a second book. That is how closely these two stories intertwine. You cannot fully appreciate the story arch without reading both.  

The first of the books Shanghai Girls which follows the lives of  Pearl and May two sisters from Shanghai, China. The girls are from an upper class family trying to navigate a changing culture when their father forces them into arraigned marriage to cover his gambling debts. Pearl and May flee Shanghai (without their husbands) when the Japanese invade the mainland and begin bombing the city. The girls journey through the countryside and eventually wind up immigrating to the United States. The story follows their lives and the life of their daughter (yes, one singular daughter for the both of them...) as they navigate life in a foreign country during changing times. 

The second book is titled Dreams of Joy and it follows the story of Pearl and May's daughter by the same name. Joy is an American born daughter of Chinese immigrants. She is raised in conflicting worlds torn between cultural expectations of her Chinese family and societal expectations of her American friends. When Joy goes to university she learns about Communist China and falls in love with the idea of going back to her parents homeland. When circumstances conspire, Joy runs away to China and Pearl follows her to bring her back. In China Joy and Pearl both learn a great deal about themselves, each other, and the past while trying to survive Communist China.   

Shanghai Girls
Things I Liked
Lisa See is an incredibly talented author. Her writing is detailed to the point that you can almost smell the stench of the Shanghai streets as May and Pearl begin their adventures. The strength of the girls' mother is incredible. I think Lisa See did a fabulous job writing her. 

Things I Didn't Like
There is a rape scene in the center of the book. It came out of nowhere for me and it really messed with me. I understand that rape has been used as a weapon during times of war for millennia, however I think the See should consider putting a warning at the front of the book. I had to put the book down for several days before I was able to continue the book.
Dreams of Joy
Things I Liked
The incredible love shown from Pearl is amazing. Her character can often be weaker and timid throughout the story but the decision to go to China to find Joy, knowing that she may never be allowed to return to the United States makes her one of the bravest characters I have come across in literature.

Things I Didn't Like

Joy is a spoiled rotten brat. She very gets herself and several other innocent people killed because she is too foolhardy to listen to her mother and aunt about what communist China is really like.
I really don't care for the romantic entanglement that Pearl gets herself into with a one night stand in China. I think this could have been left out of the story completely without damaging the narrative of the book.

Overall, I give both Shanghai Girls and Joy a solid B+. These books opened my eyes to what communism is like in a way that nothing else ever has. Of course, I took government and economics classes in both high school and college that discussed the concepts of both socialism and communism. However, it is completely different to understand the ridiculous lack of knowledge from the higher ups in the communist party and the impact that had on the people of China. This books inspired me to look into the real numbers. Mao's Great Leap Forward that is discussed in the book killed 45 MILLION OF ITS OWN PEOPLE in 4 just years. To put that into perspective for you, the Nazi holocaust in 1939-1945 killed 6 million Jews. I didn't realize how bad it was until I read this fictional book that contained real life facts.

Lisa See takes her main characters through such an incredible journey that your heart aches for the China that was lost while simultaneously hoping that the new China will succeed. This is a story that must be savored, and should be enjoyed several times to understand some of the more complex themes.

Never Forget

Title Tuesday: Adam and Eve After the Pill

Welcome to  Title Tuesday, my favorite day of the week! This day is dedicated to book suggestions, news, cartoons, and reviews. I write this portion of my blog because I am a big believer in the motivational speaker Charlie Jones' quote which says, "You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” I try to meet as many new people as possible and to read everything I can. This is my way of sharing that information with you. You can see a visual summary of the books I have reviewed for both adults and children over on my Facebook page. If you are interested in understanding my rating system for books you can read my Book Review Explanation here and What I Believe here. If you want to check out what I am currently reading or what I want to read next, friend me on Goodreads!

As my blog title suggests, I used to be a big proponent of Feminism. I was a card carrying member of NOW, supported Planned Parenthood, and ardently argued for "equality" between the genders. Adam and Eve After the Pill by Mary Eberstadt was one of the first books I read when I was trying to learn more about the roots of feminism and how it is impacting our society. This book was part of the groundwork for my decision to leave feminism and learn more about biblical womanhood, so I thought it would be good if I reread it and wrote a review of it.

Adam and Eve After the Pill is a fairly academic text written to explain the consequences of the sexual revolution. In this text Eberstadt asks the question of why so many women and men are unhappy if the sexual revolution was to our benefit. In her collections of data, opinions, and interviews Eberstadt makes the case that the revolution was in fact not a liberating wave freeing women from social bondage but rather a new kind of bondage tying women (and men) to an increasingly sexualized culture rampant with discontent. Eberstadt writes, 

This resolute refusal to recognize that the revolution falls heaviest on the youngest and most vulnerable shoulders- beginning with the fetus and proceeding up through children and adolescents- is perhaps the most vivid example of the denial surrounding the fallout of the sexual revolution (29).

Overall, I give Adam and Eve After the Pill a solid A+. I don't think that many Christians today are fully aware of what "the pill" has done to family and society in general. Understanding what is meant by the term "sexual revolution" and what the feminist movement has actually accomplished made it clear to me that Feminism was not for me. I think that this book is an excellent tool to help Christians determine if "the pill" is right for them and their family. I would strongly recommend this book to high school juniors and seniors getting ready to embark on adulthood. They need a full understanding of what "the pill" is and what it does, not just the party line given by mainstream media. 

Femininity Friday: Mankind and Sexist Language

Justin Trudeau (Canada's Prime Minister) recently said "peoplekind" instead of "mankind". He claims that it was just a joke and not to be taken seriously. 

However, there are PLENTY of examples in the media of our language being compromised for the sake of political correctness, especially when it comes to "sexism". 

You can find  lists on words that are "subtly sexist" as well as explanations of what makes them sexist and how to combat them. All of these things are to help combat gender violence in our speech and writing. 

Here is my issue with it... it is ridiculous. I am a housewife. I am a mommy-blogger. None of that is false. I tend to be very caring, dependable, and modest. I don't do those things because the patriarchy makes me. I do them because they are right for me and what God has called me to. How is that sexist?!? I like my femininity and I refuse to have it said that the "patriarchy" forced me in to it with words. 

Anyone who is familiar with George Orwell's 1984, probably wonders how long it will be before that is the correct way to speak. As of this year, here in California you can be put in jail if you use the wrong gender pronoun for someone. So if you feel like you are a "SHE" even if you have male genitalia, I can be imprisoned for calling you "HE". 

REALLY.

This is a slippery slope y'all and little slips like the one from Canada's Prime Minister are funny now, but they wont be in 10 years when people are actually being imprisoned for "sexist" speech. We as Christians need to be paying attention and standing firm. 

Title Tuesday: #Bibliophile

Welcome to  Title Tuesday, my favorite day of the week! This day is dedicated to book suggestions, news, cartoons, and reviews. I write this portion of my blog because I am a big believer in the motivational speaker Charlie Jones' quote which says, "You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” I try to meet as many new people as possible and to read everything I can. This is my way of sharing that information with you. If you are interested in understanding my rating system for books you can read my Book Review Explanation here and What I Believe here. If you want to check out what I am currently reading or what I want to read next, friend me on Goodreads!

Today I want to talk about the phrase, "I love to read". I hear this all the time, especially from people asking me for book recommendations. 

I see people use the hashtag #bibliophile in their posts and bios and it really irks me. 

Just because you read a lot doesn't mean you are a bibliophile. 

Let me give you an example. 

If I eat a lot of potato chips can I call myself a foodie? 

NO! 

You aren't a foodie, you just like chips. 

You may be chip expert, but you are not a foodie. 

By the same token, if you are only reading one genre of books (especially if the target of that genre isn't your age bracket) I would say you are not a bibliophile. You may have an emotional attachment to that genre, but that is about it. I would also say you should evaluate the emotional response you have to those books and why you have it. I would submit that grown women often times read things because of the emotional appeal, not for the challenge of learning or growing. 

In my opinion a Christian women shouldn't be reading: 

• young adult fiction (most young adult fiction isn't suitable for young adults!) 
• romance ("Christian" or otherwise!)
• horror (tell me how this brings ANY honor to God?)
• erotica (It is just written pornography and you know it.)
• anything that pollutes their mind 
• anything that fails to bring glory to God.  

If you are reading trash you aren't a bibliophile you are a garbage disposal. 

God calls us to honor him in everything that we do. That means what we read needs to be a testament to our Christian faith. If it isn't I would search your heart carefully, ask pastors and mentors, and pray to God for discernment to see if it is really something that you should be doing. Reading a bunch of junk doesn't mean you love books, it means you love the emotional pull of something that probably doesn't bring glory to God. At best it is neutral and does nothing, at worst it damages your walk and your voice for Christ. 

Viewing the Superbowl from the Foot of the Cross

Tomorrow is Superbowl Sunday. For 52 years people have been watching this sporting event with religious devotion. When I was a bartender in college and grad school I have to admit this was one of my favorite days of the year because regardless of who was playing men would show up to the bar ready to watch the athletes and drink a lot of beer. Needless to say, I made great tips on these sacred Sundays. 

Years later as an adult and a follower of Christ, I have to say that I approach this "holiday" with far more hesitation and downright circumspection. This year we have been invited to three or four Superbowl parties and we will be attending exactly NONE of them.    

Let me explain why. 

Sports are often an idol in the Christian community, not just for adults but for children as well. While I have no problem with believers playing sports, I do have a problem with Christians dedicating hours of their lives to watching other people play sports and there are 3 reasons for that. 

1.) Will it bring you closer to Christ?
While it is fun to gather with friends and spend time together, not much intentional, God honoring conversation can occur between downs. Athletic achievement is wonderful and should be respected, but it won't save you or anyone else from hell, period. It won't strengthen your walk with Christ or challenge you to be a more committed disciple of Christ. 

2.) How much of your life is wasted on viewing sports?
The Superbowl is an hours long event if you only watch the game that doesn't include hanging out before and after the game. How many hours are spent viewing these events that could be spent with family, reaching out to the lost, or serving our King? Let me ask another question. When was the last time that you spent four hours viewing God's playbook (the Bible) like you would a football game?

3.) What are you filling your head with? 
When you watch the Superbowl you are going to be inundated with media messages, none of which come from God. Most people will assume that I am talking about the halftime shows (we all remember the Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson fiasco from 2004) but it isn't just that. I know several people that will just fast forward or turn off the halftime show but will still be haunted by the images seen between the plays.  How many commercials are featuring hyper-sexualized or idolatrous content? How many shots of cheerleaders will fill the hearts and minds of the men in our lives that are trying to maintain their moral purity. In my mind the cost isn't worth it. I would rather not be in the know about the "super funny" commercials than risk being a complicit bystander in the temptation of my Christian brothers (and sisters!) in Christ. 

To sum it all up, after careful prayer and consideration, 90% of sporting events just don't fit with what God has called me to in this life. Romans 12:2 says, "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect." I cannot call myself a follower of Christ and simultaneously condone (at best) or worship (at worst) the sports industry. So while I may not be popular for saying it, I won't conform to the idea that we as Christians should take part in this wordly time-suck. When viewing the Superbowl from the foot of the cross, it just isn't worth my time. God called me to a life of servitude at the foot of the cross, not on the alter of professional sports.

Title Tuesday: The Child Safeguarding Policy Guide

Welcome to  Title Tuesday, my favorite day of the week! This day is dedicated to book suggestions and reviews. I write this portion of my blog because I am a big believer in the motivational speaker Charlie Jones' quote which says, "You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” I try to meet as many new people as possible and to read everything I can. This is my way of sharing that information with you. If you are interested in understanding my rating system for books you can read my Book Review Explanation here and What I Believe here. If you want to check out what I am currently reading or what I want to read next, friend me on Goodreads. With all that being said, lets jump in!

This book was provided by Litfuse Group
in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. 

Today's book is a little more somber than our normal Title Tuesday posts but no less interesting and maybe even more important. The Child Safeguarding Policy Guide for Churches and Ministries by Basyle Tchividjian and Shira M. Berkovits may not sound like an invigorating read, but if you are involved in ministry in ANY WAY AT ALL then I suggest that you take a look at this book. 

Tchividjian and Berkovits are frank and honest in their discussion of the dangers surrounding the Christian community. They don't pull any punches in the understanding of who can become a victim (both girls AND boys of any age!) and who can become a predator. They break the book down into sections describing what abuse may (or may not) look like. They clearly and decisively explain how to best safeguard children and staff members from potential issues. Tchividjian and Berkovits also do a really good job of  explaining how to respond to an issue involving a child and how to support survivors of abuse both inside and outside the church. 

Overall I would give The Child Safeguarding Policy Guide for Churches and Ministries by Basyle Tchividjian and Shira M. Berkovits a solid B+ rating. It is a great book that all ministries should have on their shelves. The regular, everyday Christian might not find it useful in daily life. However, as a mother of two young boys and another little baby on the way, I probably don't have to state the fact that safety is a high priority for our family. Being a military family means moving often. When we move to a new duty station we have to start all over in finding a church, a babysitter, and friends that we are comfortable having our children be around on a regular basis. I have to say that protecting my children is often at the forefront of my mind especially when we are at a new duty station trying to find a new church. I know that for myself (as well as many other military families) it would ease my mind a great deal to know that these churches had a plan in place to prevent abuse issues from happening and a procedure for what to do in the absolutely horrific instance that it does happen. I would feel much more comfortable at a church that used The Child Safeguarding Policy Guide for Churches and Ministries by Basyle Tchividjian and Shira M. Berkovits as a guide post for their ministries.  

You Can Keep Your Tale, I'll Take the Truth

It is Sunday, and I normally don't post on Sunday. I try to take this day as a time to be with my family. However, I have really had a burden on my heart for a couple of days about something so I am going to share it now. I may write more on it later, but for now, here it is. 

I am sick of seeing articles that talk about the truth and reality of the Handmaiden's Tale, especially on the Facebook pages of Christian women. I haven't watched the show. I refuse to because I read the book in college while pursuing a minor in women's studies and I know now that it is an attack on the Christian faith. The author of Handmaid's Tale calls it purportedly Christian rather than genuinely Christian however, that didn't stop creators of the show using the song, "Onward Christian Soldiers" as the soundtrack to a graphic and disgusting rape scene. I have to ask, Christians, why are you watching this?!? But lets discuss that another day. For now, lets move on. 

I read an article recently where the author states that The Handmaiden's Tale is the writing on the wall (which is a biblical reference by the way!) for women in the United States of America of what is to come. You can read the full article here.  However, today I want to discuss one paragraph more than anything else. The author writes: 

Today, Atwood’s Tale reads less like speculative fiction and more like an appalling worst-case scenario. How far removed are we, really, from the reduction of women to the status of childbearing vessels, allowed no identity, property, family or passions of our own? After all, just in February an Oklahoma legislator asserted that a pregnant woman is just a “host” for the fetus, thereby losing the right to bodily autonomy.

Lets fact check that shall we? The legislator in question, Rep. Justin Humphrey (R), actually said, 

I understand that they feel like that is their body,” he said of women. “I feel like it is a separate — what I call them is, is you’re a ‘host.’ And you know when you enter into a relationship you’re going to be that host and so, you know, if you pre-know that then take all precautions and don’t get pregnant,” he explained. “So that’s where I’m at. I’m like, hey, your body is your body and be responsible with it. But after you’re irresponsible then don’t claim, well, I can just go and do this with another body, when you’re the host and you invited that in.

To summarize Representative Humphrey is saying, you had sex, the natural biological repercussion of sex is pregnancy. If you engaged in sexual activity, you need to be prepared to deal with the fact that you may very well conceive a human life. If that happens, you DO NOT have the right to end that life. 

THAT IS IT.

And by the way, calling it a fetus instead of a baby doesn't change the fact that you are ending a life. Don't believe me? Check out the definition of a fetus here. You aren't losing your bodily autonomy, you just aren't being allowed to end someone else's bodily autonomy. But that is a talk for another day. 

Now, I want to address the first part of her paragraph. She asks how far removed are we from a society in which women are reduced "to the status of childbearing vessels, allowed no identity, property, family or passions of our own?" 

Let me introduce you to the American military. 

These brave men and women are currently standing between us an ISIS. They get up and go to work every single day at home and abroad knowing that they may have to give their life in service to, and protection of, our country. The United States military stands between us and being forced to cover your entire body and face, from being beaten and raped as an act of war, and being beheaded in the street. 

How far removed are we from having our rights taken away? 

The length of all the servicemen standing between us and ISIS.       

And by the way, of those servicemen, 68% identify as Christian. 

So before you say that Christians are trying to take away the rights and liberties of women, remember who is charging in to the fight to keep the horrors of ISIS from coming here. 

Remember the young men and women facing down the horrors of ISIS so that we don't face them here. 

You can keep your tale, I'll take the truth. 

Military Monday: The Military Child

Welcome to another Military Monday!

Upon marrying a military man I learned that there is a LOT to know about life as a military spouse. Mondays are my day to talk about the things I am learning, the new language, military news and current events. Sometimes I post encouraging videos, stories, and cartoons as well.

April is the official Month of the Military Child! As the mother of two little boys and the wife of a soldier, I can tell you it isn't easy to be part of a military family. So today we are going to make a list of why military kids are awesome and I have some links below to good resources for the military child and parent.

If you know a military kid, give them a little extra love this month. Buy them an ice cream cone, take them to the park, be there for them. Most of these kids didn't get a vote in having to sacrifice birthdays, holidays, and special occasions with their parents. The Christian community needs to wrap our arms around these kids and let them know that they are loved and valued. They need to know that we see the sacrifice that they are making and we appreciate it so very much. 

Here are a list of resources for your military kids:

1.) Books for Military kids: 

I miss you! 

The Deployment Bear (often paired with a Deployment Bear)

My Daddy is in the Army (Mom version is available)

My First Counting Book: Army Edition

US Army Alphabet Book

(This is by no means an exhaustive list, these are just some of our favorites!)

2.) Are you looking to get your military kid involved? Check out this post.

3.) Did you know that there is a magazine just for military kids?!? There totally is! You can check it out here. 

(This post contains affiliate links which helps support The Forgiven Former Feminist, please don't feel obligated to purchase anything, just enjoy the article!)

Motherhood Monday: Beauty and the Beast

Welcome to another Motherhood Monday! This is the day dedicated to all things "mommy" related. Check here each Monday for a new post. Today I want to talk about Beauty and the Beast. I know it has been out for a couple of weeks now and I am late in posting this, but that was on purpose. I wanted to give the dust a chance to settle before I wrote out my thoughts, so here we go.

As a Christian mom, I am not going to be watching the remake of Disney's Beauty and the Beast despite the fact that the original movie was my FAVORITE movie as a child. I watched and re-watched that movie, faithfully. My grandmother actually has two of the VHS tapes because we lost one for a short while. However, all the warm and fuzzy childhood memories do not make up for the fact that this movie supports and condones a LGBT lifestyle. I cannot in good conscience sit through a movie (and thereby financially support) something that is fundamentally contradictory to my faith. 

The next statement that I usually get is, "But Morgan, it isn't that bad! It is just hints that only adults will get. Can't you watch it and ignore the parts that you don't like?" The answer is NO, and here is why: I filter what I read, watch, listen to, and participate in through Philippians 4:8 which says, " Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things." 

This movie doesn't fit my personal Christian standard, period. 

But what about the Christians that are seeing the movie anyway? How does that work? Well, as far as I can tell the Christians that are seeing the movie anyways fall in two different groups. 

Group One: it doesn't matter at all, Christians should just ignore the subtle gay moments and just enjoy the movie

Group Two: Christians should use it for a teaching moment. 

Let me address the second group first. I strongly disagree with the idea that Christians should watch the movie because "this is the culture that God appointed us to live in" or that we can use it to "find the good". I think that is just conforming to the society rather than standing up for what you believe, and yet many people are doing exactly that! You wouldn't say that Christians should go see the new 50 Shades of Grey movie, and yet that is part of this culture too. (Also, just because something is "good" doesn't mean it is "God". Ghandi was a "good" man, but if you believe the Bible then you believe that he went to hell, despite his "good".)  

As for group one, this is where most of the Christian viewers seem to fall. I was incredibly disappointed to see one of my favorite Christian authors, Eric Metaxas even write that, 

"...the much-ballyhooed "exclusively gay moment" which "Beauty and the Beast" director Bill Condon referred to turned out to be two or three suggestive moments, plus an "in-your-face" transgender moment involving a man dressed in drag and loving it. As a Christian dad, that bugged me. But as a fan of good stories, I found it far sadder that LGBT propaganda was the most original thing about the new "Beauty and the Beast." 

As Christians, who cares if it is a good story if it doesn't glorify Christ? I think a huge part of why Christians are willing to go see this movie (and therefore tacitly support the agenda) is because they are afraid of being called a bigot or old fashioned. But here is the thing, I don't care what I am called, because ultimately I am called a child of God (Galatians 3:26) and that is what matters. It shouldn't just bug you, it should break your heart that this culture is so incredibly far removed from God that sexuality has found its way into children's movies. It should light your heart on fire to know that there are broken and hurting people out there that need the welcoming arms of Christ. I want my boys to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this culture is NOT the end all be all. 

It isn't enough to just ignore the scenes. 
It is time to step up and say no, I will not participate. 
This is not my fairytale, this is not my happy ending. 
I know how the story really ends, and this beast isn't even close to our Prince of Peace. 
I don't want "good", I want God. 

Theological Thursday: Mike Pence and Marriage

Welcome to Theological Thursday! 

Today we are going to be talking about marriage and our vice president. I know it doesn't sound theological, but let me explain...

The left side of the political spectrum is trying to make a huge deal about our Vice President's personal convictions regarding interactions with people of the opposite sex. Twitter is on fire talking about the "ridiculous" standard that the Pences have taken. They have said that he will not have a meal alone with a woman out of respect for his wife and their marriage.  He also won't drink at an event that his wife isn't attending. It is a safeguard that they have put in place to secure and protect their marriage. 

You can read some of the responses here. As you can see, people are FREAKING OUT over it, and I can tell you why. 

In a day and age when movies and television shows glorify sex but downplay intimacy, fidelity isn't a big deal. Think for a minute about some of the most popular shows out there (ok, I quit watching TV and movies almost five years ago, so I am a little behind the times) the main shows that come to mind are Grey's Anatomy and Sex and City.  Each of these shows have a main character that knowingly has sex with a married man. In both of these shows the affair happens after the couple has broken up and they are "just friends". In both of these shows the affair destroys the aforementioned marriage, but it is totally ok because the guy ends up with girl he has an affair with and they live happily ever after. 

HELLO?!? Is anyone else seeing what is being shown as acceptable? Television, movies, Netflix, literature... it is all telling our society that marriage isn't a permanent thing. Society is being told that marriage is exchangeable. If you don't like this marriage, just cash it out and get a new one. 

That isn't how this works, y'all. 

Ephesians 5:31-33 says, " For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery- but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each of you must also love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." We are commanded to unite (some versions use the word cleave) to our spouses. We are bound to them, for the duration of our life here on Earth. We are given specific commands to adhere to in our time together. He is to love and she is to respect.  How can you cleave to your partner and follow through on the commands you have been given if you are out creating relationships and connections with someone other than your wife? 

Let me be clear. I am not talking to nonbelievers right now. I am talking to Christian couples. We cannot expect nonbelievers to act like believers. That is just foolishness. But at the same time, we are supposed to be being a light in the world. We are supposed to be living the way we were commanded to and letting our life act as a living witness of the redemptive love of Jesus Christ. 

In my mind, what Pence and his wife have in place really isn't all that radical. That should be the standard for believers. Let me ask you for a second. Are you living for Christ in this area? Is your marriage safeguarded? Maybe you aren't going out to dinner with other people, but what about at work? Are all of your relationships showing Christ's light? How about with what you are reading and watching in your free time, is it helping you to stay mentally, emotionally, and physically faithful to your commitment to God and your spouse? 

At then end of the day, we live in a fallen world. As Christians we know that Satan is very real and that he would love nothing more than to destroy (or even just damage) a strong Christian marriage because it is a living, breathing, testament to the glory of Jesus Christ. We need to build one another up in marriage and moral purity.  We need to take a note from the Pences and put things in place to secure our marriages, as far as I am concerned Mr. Pence is doing a great job of being a solid role model for men in America. I hope to see more from him in the future. 

Trade Your Shade!

Good morning! Welcome to Wife to Wife Wednesday, the day that we discuss issues relating to marriage. Today I want to talk about keeping your heart and mind pure for your marriage. 

As many of you may know the book 50 Shades of Grey has been adapted in to a film that will make its debut on Saturday February 14th. In case you've forgotten, February 14th is Valentines Day. It is no mistake that this movie is hitting the theaters on this date. The mainstream media would have you believe that this book is about romance, with a few "kinks" involved, they call it erotica. The reality is that this book is actually pornography. People are under the impression that if there aren't pictures involved it isn't pornography, but they couldn't be more wrong! #FiftyShades is in fact, emotional pornography and it is very dangerous for your marriage. This book perverts the idea of real love and shows it to be something it is not. 

God has a perfect and pure plan for marriages. You can find a great explanation of what this book does to marriages and relationships in Pulling Back the Shades by Gresh and Slatterly. If you have a copy of #FiftyShades I highly encourage you to take advantage of Gresh and Slattery's offer to trade you a free copy of their book in exchange for your copy of  Fifty Shades of Grey. This offer is only good through February 14th 2015.  Take advantage of this opportunity, share the message and tell your friends. This is a great opportunity to find out more about keeping your heart and mind pure in a messy and dark world.

Military Monday: Military Families Take Care

Welcome to another Military Monday.  Upon marrying a military man I learned that there is a LOT to know about life as a military spouse. Mondays are my day to talk about the things I am learning, the new language, military news and current events. Sometimes I post encouraging videos, stories, and cartoons as well. 

Normally, I try to only post positive things on Military Monday. Today, I wanted to share some information with you. The Army Threat Integration Center (which issues warnings of criminal/terrorist threats to Army posts) has warned U.S. military personnel and family to be cautious about posting personal information on social media and other locations. This is because the Islamic State militants have called on supporters to search through information and to "show up [at their homes] and slaughter them". You can read the full article here: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2014/10/02/army-warns-us-military-personnel-on-isis-threat-to-family-members/

So as a precaution, please be careful about what you post and where you post it. I know that to many people this may seem crazy and far fetched, but it is better to be safe than to be sorry. I also want to remind everyone to be in prayer for our nation and our world as this situation continues, just because it isn't in the news today doesn't mean we should let down our guard.